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Writer's pictureLaurie

Shadows of Sorrow: Victorian Mourning and Death Customs

The Victorian era was defined by its strict social customs, and nowhere was this more evident than in its elaborate mourning practices. Picture a somber Victorian funeral procession: black-plumed horses pulling an ornate hearse, crowds dressed in mourning attire, the streets lined with mourners, and the solemn tolling of church bells in the background. From the death of Prince Albert to the rise of spiritualism, Victorians embraced a wide range of traditions to express grief, respect the dead, and find solace in an age where death was ever-present.


The Influence of Queen Victoria

Queen Victoria's public mourning for her beloved Prince Albert had a profound influence on the culture of mourning across the British Empire, largely due to her status as a monarch and the visibility of her prolonged grief. Following his death in 1861, Victoria entered a state of deep mourning, wearing black for the rest of her life. Her display of grief set a powerful example, inspiring the public to adopt similar prolonged mourning practices.


This widespread adoption of mourning customs reflected the deeply personal and emotional connection that Queen Victoria had with her subjects. For example, many people began wearing mourning attire for extended periods, just as Victoria did, to demonstrate their loyalty and respect for lost loved ones. Her public grief humanized her in the eyes of the people, making her loss relatable. It also underscored the Victorian ideal of loyalty and devotion. This encouraged even those outside the royal sphere to adhere to the elaborate customs that signified respect and remembrance.



Mourning Attire and Fashion

Victorian mourning attire was a complex visual language of grief. The heavy black crepe of deep mourning signaled sorrow, while half-mourning permitted softer colors like lavender or gray. Strict rules governed how long and when mourning garments could be worn, especially for widows, who were expected to spend months or even years in varying stages of mourning.


Mourning garments were not just about wearing black—they were an intricate display of one's grief and social status. The attire conveyed respect for the deceased, and the type of garments worn often reflected the mourner's relationship to the departed. Women were typically required to adhere to stricter dress codes than men, with specific guidelines for the materials and colors they could wear during different mourning stages.

The fashion industry even catered to these elaborate customs by producing specialized mourning clothing and accessories. Stores like Jay's Mourning Warehouse in London flourished, with entire sections dedicated to the different stages of grief, offering items such as jet jewelry and black crepe dresses tailored to the needs of those in mourning. Mourning practices created a unique economic niche, highlighting how the culture of grief was deeply ingrained in Victorian society.


Typical Mourning Attire:

  • Black Crepe Dress: The primary garment for deep mourning, made from a dull, non-reflective fabric that symbolized sorrow.

  • Mourning Veil: A long black veil worn by women, particularly widows, to symbolize their deep grief and to shield their faces from public view.

  • Jet Jewelry: Jewelry made from jet, often featuring somber motifs like crosses or weeping willows, to indicate the wearer's mourning status.

  • Mourning Gloves: Black gloves worn during funerals and public appearances to adhere to proper mourning etiquette.

  • Hairwork Jewelry: Brooches or lockets incorporating the hair of the deceased, serving as a personal memento and connection to the lost loved one.


Funeral Practices and Public Mourning

Funerals were grand public displays, often involving processions with elaborate hearses drawn by black-plumed horses. These displays were intended to be awe-inspiring, evoking a sense of solemn respect and reinforcing the social status of the deceased's family. The grandeur of these ceremonies varied depending on the family's social status, but even the poorest sought to provide a respectful farewell for their loved ones. Burial clubs allowed working-class families to contribute small amounts over time to ensure they could afford a decent funeral.


Typical Funeral Practices:

  • Elaborate Hearses: Hearses adorned with black plumes and elaborate decorations to signify the importance of the deceased.

  • Funeral Processions: Large processions that included family, friends, and even hired mourners to demonstrate the social standing of the deceased.

  • Burial Clubs: Community organizations that helped working-class families save for funeral expenses, ensuring that even the poor could afford a proper burial.

  • Death Notices and Funeral Invitations: Printed announcements that were sent to friends and relatives, sometimes published in newspapers, to inform others of the passing and invite them to the funeral.

  • Graveside Rituals: Ceremonies conducted at the graveside, often involving prayers, flowers, and the placing of personal mementos with the deceased.


Public mourning was an essential aspect of Victorian society, serving both as an expression of personal grief and as a social statement. Practices like hiring professional mourners helped reinforce social standing by demonstrating the deceased's importance and the family's ability to afford such displays. These hired mourners, often weeping loudly and visibly, also contributed to community ties by making the expression of grief a shared, collective experience.


Mourning practices differed significantly based on social class: the wealthy could afford grand funeral processions, elaborate mourning attire, and extended periods of visible grief, while the working class often relied on burial clubs to afford modest funerals. These differences reflected the broader societal divide, with public mourning acting as a way to reinforce social hierarchy and display one's social standing. The visibility of mourning practices, from elaborate funerals to the wearing of mourning attire, reinforced societal expectations about propriety and respect for the dead. Public mourning allowed individuals to connect with their community in times of loss, offering shared rituals that helped make the grieving process more bearable. The grandeur of these displays also highlighted the social status of the deceased, making mourning not only a private affair but a public demonstration of loyalty, love, and societal standing.


Mourning in the Home

Victorian mourning extended into the home as well. Mirrors were covered with black fabric to prevent spirits from becoming trapped, and clocks were stopped at the moment of death, symbolizing that time had stopped for the family. Black drapery hung in the home served as a constant reminder of loss and respect for the deceased.


Mourning in the Home Customs:

  • Covered Mirrors: Mirrors were covered with black fabric to prevent the spirits of the deceased from becoming trapped.

  • Stopped Clocks: Clocks were stopped at the moment of death to symbolize that time had stopped for the grieving family.

  • Black Drapery: Black fabric was hung over windows and doorways to signify mourning and create a somber atmosphere.

  • Death Flowers: Flowers, such as lilies, were often placed around the home to mask the scent of decay and symbolize the purity of the departed.

  • Widow's Weeds: Mourning clothes were kept visible in the home as a reminder of the deceased and the ongoing period of mourning.


These customs were more than mere rituals—they helped establish a space where the mourning process could unfold. The home became a place dedicated to both remembrance and introspection, creating an environment that allowed families to honor their loved ones while coping with their grief. The somber decor and ritualistic acts reinforced the importance of mourning as an essential part of life, deeply ingrained in the social fabric of Victorian society.


Spiritualism and Connecting with the Dead

The uncertainty of the afterlife, driven by high mortality rates and the influence of new scientific ideas, led many Victorians to embrace spiritualism. Séances became a popular way to attempt contact with lost loved ones, offering a glimmer of hope to those seeking reassurance. Famous mediums like Florence Cook captivated audiences by claiming to materialize spirits, such as the well-known "Katie King," who was said to be the spirit of the daughter of a 17th-century pirate and frequently appeared during Cook's séances. This movement provided an intersection between traditional religious beliefs and the scientific curiosity of the era.


Tools Used by Spiritualists:

  • Spirit Trumpets: Used to amplify the voices of spirits during séances, making it seem as though spirits were communicating directly.

  • Planchettes: Wooden boards with wheels that would move under the medium's hand, often used in automatic writing to convey messages from the beyond.

  • Spirit Boards (Ouija Boards): Boards marked with letters and numbers that allowed participants to spell out messages purportedly from spirits.

  • Tipping Tables: Small tables used during séances that were believed to move or tip in response to spirit presence.

  • Photography: Spirit photography became popular, with photographers claiming to capture images of spirits alongside the living.


While many Victorians embraced spiritualism, others were highly skeptical. Notable figures like Harry Houdini and early psychical researchers actively sought to discredit spiritualists, exposing fraudulent practices and revealing the tricks used during séances. Houdini, in particular, made it his mission to unmask mediums who exploited grieving families, demonstrating how many supposed supernatural events were achieved through clever illusion and deception. These efforts to expose fraudulent spiritualists highlighted the tension between belief and skepticism that characterized the era.



Victorian Mourning Customs in Gothic Horror Role Playing

The detailed mourning and death customs of the Victorian era provide a rich source of inspiration for gothic horror role-playing games. The eerie atmosphere of mourning practices—black veils, death photography, and elaborate funeral processions—can add a powerful sense of authenticity and dread to any game setting. Imagine PCs encountering a parlor draped in black, mirrors covered to prevent a spirit from becoming trapped, or being drawn into a séance where the true intentions of the spirits are unclear. These elements can help build tension and provide immersive storytelling opportunities that capture the melancholic spirit of Victorian grief.


The customs described in this article can easily be woven into your next gothic horror game to create a more immersive experience. For example, a player character might wear mourning attire to infiltrate a grieving household or gain the trust of a bereaved family, using the guise to gather information. Funeral processions could also provide an opportunity for unexpected encounters, such as a sudden attack by undead creatures or the discovery of a missing body during the ceremony. Séances can serve as key plot points, where players might inadvertently invite something far more sinister than a lost loved one. By incorporating these traditions, game masters can evoke the creeping unease and dark romance that define gothic horror, making each encounter with death feel both personal and haunting.


Ways to Incorporate Victorian Mourning into Your Game:

  • Mourning Attire: PCs could use mourning attire to blend into a setting of grief or to gain the trust of mourners during an investigation.

  • Séances: Use séances as a way for players to gain vital information, with the risk that they may summon a malevolent spirit instead.

  • Funeral Processions: A funeral procession could become a scene of unexpected danger, such as an attack by undead or a stolen body.

  • Mourning in the Home: The eerie atmosphere of a mourning household—covered mirrors, stopped clocks, and death flowers—can be used to heighten tension and create suspense.

  • Spirit Photography: Introduce spirit photography as a plot device where the players discover a photograph that shows more than what meets the eye.


Victorian mourning customs can add a layer of depth and authenticity to gothic horror settings, enriching the storytelling experience with historical detail and an atmosphere of eerie reverence. The intersection of grief, death, and the supernatural is at the heart of gothic horror, making these customs a perfect fit for enhancing the emotional stakes of your role-playing game.


Enduring Legacy

Victorian mourning customs shaped many aspects of society, from fashion to literature. Their influence can still be felt today, as modern-day rituals for grieving often reflect echoes of the past. Queen Victoria's profound expression of grief created a cultural template that deeply intertwined mourning with social identity and status.



Victorian mourning practices were elaborate and deeply symbolic, providing both a means to express grief and a social framework for handling death. Though some customs may seem strange to us today, they highlight the importance of remembrance and respect during times of loss, reflecting a deeply human desire to connect with those who have passed on.

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